Meet the Player, Meet The Tank: Shankar

In the 11th of our scandalous series “Meet the Player, Meet the Man”, we present the one who performs the Haka.

Name / Nickname: Shankar Aka The Tank – People used to call me that when I was playing

(with night vision glasses)

rugby.

Highest level of football played: Interclass in Secondary school.. never amounted to much

Which Football team do you support: Manchester Untied, apparently before I was born – in 1977. My pregnant mum bet on Man United to win the FA cup before going into labour. I was born soon after Man United lifted the cup or so the legend goes. This is a true story. (Editor’s note: always nice to be reminded of The Thieving Scouse’s defeat)

The most memorable moment supporting your team: Ryan Giggs, 1999 FA cup semi final – the goal he scored against a team that causes my bile to boil over will be itched in my memory till the time dementia hits.

Favourite non-FAFI player: Paul Scholes – Unsung hero with an unending work rate – what he has quietly achieved is more than remarkable. (Editor’s note: Great choice! Scholes is my favourite player, too)

Who do you imagine yourself to be on a good day / bad day: On a good day – Emile Heskey in a liverpool jersey, On a bad day – myself I guess.

How do you celebrate scoring a goal: will let you know when it happens

Best goal you’ve scored during a FAFI game: when I ran through about 3 people to score

Worst miss seen in a FAFI sanctioned game: I must say I have nightmares of when I hit the ball wide in front of an open net

Funniest thing you’ve seen on a football pitch: FAFI – myself I suppose in the super tight red bib I had to wear when I turned up in the wrong colours. (Editor’s note: I remember this! Bring back the bib after you wash it, OK? And don’t forget the fabric softener) Non FAFI – the old shoe laced jerseys (the ones which had laces near the neck area especially the bright green and yellow United one. What on earth were they thinking?).

Which position would the manager of your favourite team play you? Don’t think I will ever play for my favourite team but I think I would play the Stopper role….. I mean literally as a stopper both the man and the ball.

When did you realise that you weren’t good enough to play for your favourite team: When I realised that the ball was round instead of an odd oblong shape

What music would you listen to before you step out into the field? Kum mate, Kum mate Kah…..  the very famous Haka which translates to

By the blood of our ancestors! We are powerful! We are invincible! We are not scared of you and you will surrender before the brave warriors that we are! Look at the size of our arms! And of our legs! Come and tackle us if you dare! Be very scared! Be terrified! Grrr!

YouTube link.

What do you think of Singapore (best and worst elements): Best element – there is a bus that takes me from my home to all the FAFI sanctioned venues. Worst element – I have to queue for everything and the queues are getting longer and longer.

Your favourite football-related book: Hahahha  – I don’t waste time reading books. I think it was called Victory (a.k.a. Escape to Victory), with Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone. I think Pele also was featured in it. (Editor’s note: and Tractor Boys Russell Osman, and John Wark …)

Paid sex. Discuss in 20 words of less: Paid sex – The economics of the biological need to fulfil an ancient commandment.

Your motto on the pitch: Nil Sine Labore (“nothing without labour”)

Any Other comments: we should have official FAFI jerseys, one red, one black and one off white.